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社交网站的现状与发展趋势的研究
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社交网站的现状与发展趋势的研究
关注微信公众号English for Social networking_甜梦文库
English for Social networking
CONTENTS目录04 06 07 10 16 18 23 26 38 42 43 45 47 49 51Social Networking De nition Social Networking Introduction Online Social Networking Social Networking Sites How to Make Friends Steps Tips Managing Relationships Popular Social Occasions Social Customs Time Invitations Dress Introduction and Greeting Dining社交网络的定义社交网络 在线社交网络 社交网站 怎样扩展交际圈 必胜步骤 温馨小贴士 人际管理 有趣的社交活动 社交礼节 合适的赴约时间 邀约 着装 自我介绍和问候 就餐礼节CONTENTS目录54 55 57 60 62 63 65 68 70 96 102 108 116 120Social Taboos What are Social Taboos Common Social Taboos Taboo Food and Drink Social Anxiety Disorder What is Social Anxiety Disorder The Symptoms of Social Anxiety Disorder Social Anxiety Disorder Treatment Options Useful Information Student Testimonials Center Events Joint Promotion Center Address 2011 Calendar社交禁忌 什么是社交禁忌 常见社交禁忌 饮食禁忌 社交恐惧症 什么是社交恐惧症 社交恐惧症的表现 社交恐惧症解决方案实用信息 学员感悟 中心活动 合作商讯 中心地址 新年日程De nition of Social Networking社交网络的定义中英对照Social networking in general means the grouping of individuals into speci c groups, like small rural communities or a neighborhood subdivision. Social networking is possible in person, especially in the workplace, universities, and high schools, and it is especially most popular online. Much like going to a party or joining a book club, 4 social networking can be a lot of fun. And, like getting involved in a writer's group or going to a business conference, it can also be very productive for your career. Social Networking can be many things to many people, but you won't ever know what it could mean to you until you try it out for yourself.广义的社交网络是指由一些个体 形成的特定组群，就像小的居住 社区一样。这些社交网络往往出 现在工作场所、大学、中学，且 在网上最为盛行。国际社交网络 能让你认识世界各地的朋友，帮 助你锻炼英文，提高使用英语的 频率。 当你参加派对或者读书协会时， 社交网络会给你带来快乐，当你 参加作家协会或者商务会议时， 它也可以为你的事业带来帮助。 社交网络对不同的人群有着不同 的功能，除非你亲自尝试，否则 你永远无法得知它会给你的生活 产生何种影响。Social Networking Introduction社交网络Social Networking ArchitectureSocial Networking Introduction社交网络社 交 网 络 有哪 些 内 容67Social Networking Introduction社交网络Social Networking Introductiontheir pro le. Friends are the heart and soul of social networking. It should be noted that not all social networks refer to them as 'friends' -- LinkedIn refers to them as 'connections -but all social networks have a way to designate members as trusted. Fans&. ey are both a way to connect with like-minded people and a way to identify your interests. Sometimes, groups are called by other names, such as the 'networks' on Facebook.社交网络Online Social Networking在线社交网络and usually something unique to that particular social networking website -such as the ability to 'poke' people on Facebook or highve someone on Hi5.Discussions会话 A primary focus of groups is to create interaction between users in the form of discussions. Most social networking websites support discussion boards for the groups, and many also allow members of the group to post pictures, music, video clips, and other tidbits related to the group.Pro le个人介绍Groups群组 Most social networks use groups to help you nd people with similar interests or engage in discussions on certain topics. A group can be anything from &Johnson High Class of '98& to &People Who Like Books& to &DoorsBlogs博客 Another feature of some social networks is the ability to create your own blog entries. While not as feature-rich as blog hosts like Wordpress or Blogger, blogging through a social network is perfect for keeping people informed on what you are up to.中文导读在线社交网络，也就是网络+社 交的意思，人们可以在网络这个 平台自由交流，传达信息，扩展 交际圈。它是一种即时的在线 交流方式，比起Email和单纯聊 天，更能让你瞬时获得丰富的 资讯。现在越来越多的人利用互 联网的便捷来扩展社交圈。在社 交网站上，用户注册个人信息之 后，可以随时更新状态，发表日 志，上传照片，添加好友，即时 看到好友的更新内容，获取更多 资讯。很多网络红人都是因为博 客而出名，他们有的上传照片， 有的发博客日志，有的宣扬自己 的理论。在这里，个性得到了最 大的体现。你也可是尝试用英文 发布日志，锻炼写作能力。Online Social networking is based on the internet where people are allowed to express their individuality and meet people with similar interests. is includes having pro les, friends, blog posts, widgets,is is where you tell the world about yourself. Pro les contain basic information, like where you live and how old you are, and personality questions, like who's your favorite actor and what's your favorite book. Social networks dedicated to a special theme like music or movies might ask questions related to that theme.Friends朋友 Friends are trusted members of the site that are allowed to post comments on your pro le or send you private messages. You can also keep tabs on how your friends are using social networking, such as when they post a new picture or updateWidgets趣味程序 A popular way of letting your personality shine through is by gracing your social networking pro le with web widgets. Many social networks allow a variety of widgets, and you can usually nd interesting widgets located on widget galleries. 98Social Networking Introduction社交网络Social Networking Introduction社交网络Social Networking SitesSocial Networking Sites社交网站中文导读社 交 网站Introduction of Social Networking Sites什么是社交网站Facebook，Twitter，Myspace，人 人网，开心网，豆瓣，微博等大 家一定不会陌生。在这些社交网 站上不但能找到失散多年的朋友 和同学，还能认识很多新朋友。 社交网络就像一个树状图一样顺 着你的交际圈延展开来，你一定 无法想象你的社交圈会有多大！Unlike most high schools, colleges, or workplaces, the Internet is lled with millions of individuals who are looking to meet other people, to gather and share rst-hand information and experiences about cooking, gol ng, gardening, developing friendships or professional alliances, nding employment, business-to-business marketing and even groups sharing information about the end of the Mayan calendar and the Great Shi to arrive December 21-2012. e topics and interests are as varied and rich as the story of our world. 10Social networking websites function like an online community of internet users. Depending on the website in question, many of these online community members share common interests in hobbies, religion, or politics. Once you are granted access to a social networking website you can begin to socialize. is socialization may include reading the pro le pages of other members and possibly even contacting them. Social networking is based on a certain structure that allows people to both express 11Social Networking Introductiontheir individuality and meet people with similar interests. is structure includes having pro les, friends, blog posts, widgets, and usually something unique to that particular social networking website -- such as the ability to 'poke' people on Facebook or high- ve someone on Hi5. e friends that you can make are just one of the many bene ts to social networking online. Another one of those bene ts includes diversity because the internet gives individuals from all around the world access to social networking sites. Not only will you make new friends, but you just might learn a thing or two about new cultures or new languages and learning is always a good thing.社交网络Social Networking Introductionwas opened to the public in 2006. Why Facebook? ? MySpace: Started in 2003, MySpace was a driving force in popularizing social networking and still maintains a large userbase. A highly customizable social network, MySpace continues to reposition itself in the industry. Create a Flashy MySpace Pro le. ? Twitter: What started out as a microblogging website has quickly grown into a social messaging platform and one of the top social networks in the world. Twitter is phenomenon that transcends social networking to provide an outlet for news, trends, buzz, and chat among many other uses. 10 Great Uses for Twitter. ? Ning: A social network for creating social networks, Ning takes the idea of groups to a whole new level. e ability to create your own community makes Ning a great home away from home for organizations and groups looking to ll the social void. How to Create a Social Network on Ning. Top Social Networking Sites - Special Interest主题社交网站读书、电影、文化和音乐的人 们。豆瓣涉及的领域以个性的 书评、影评和音乐评论为核心 交流内容，以此形成一系列的 推荐机制。同时，豆瓣网通过 用户自我创造与分享内容，形 成无数个具有共同话题的小圈 子，进而形成一个庞大的好友 社区。用户不但可以通过自己 的兴趣互相联系，还可以参加 网站举行的线下活动，比如去 看艺术展览、参加读书会等。社交网络Sina Micro Blog新浪微博新浪微博是一个由新浪网推 出，提供微型博客服务的 Twitter类网站。用户可以通过 网 页 、 WA P 页 面 、 手 机 短 信 / 彩信发布消息或上传图片。公 众名人用户众多是新浪微博的 一大特色，目前基本已经覆盖 大部分知名文体明星、企业高 管、媒体人士等。我们可以把 微博理解为“微型博客”或者 “一句话博客”，字数不超过 140。用户新发布的微博只会在 自己“粉丝”的页面上更新。Popular Social Networking Sites超高人气社交网站社交网站分为两种：普通 社交网站（例如Facebook， Myspace，Twitter等），主题社 交网站（例如Flixster，LinkedIn 等）。不同种类的网站都有自 身的特色，你要是有兴趣不妨 注册试试。之后你就可以随心 所欲用英文与世界各地的朋友 进行交流了。? Flixster: With a tagline of &stop watching bad movies,& Flixster combines social networking with movie reviews. ? LinkedIn: A businessoriented social network, members invite people to be &connections& instead of &friends.& Linkedin is a contact management system as well as a social network, and has a question-andanswer section similar to Yahoo! Answers.e top social networking websites is divided into two categories: General purpose, special interest social networks with a speci c theme. Top Social Networking Sites - General Interest普通社交网站? Facebook: Founded by Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook was designed as a social networking site for Harvard students. A er spreading from Harvard through the university ranks and down into high school, Facebook 12China's Top Social Networking Sites中国超高人气社交网站 Douban豆瓣豆瓣是一个比较专业的社交网 站，吸引了艺术生以及热爱Douban (www.douban. com), a more specialized social networking site, attracts art students and those passionate about books, cinema, culture, and music. It is also the largest online Chinese language book, movie and music database and one of the largest online communities in China. Users connect according to their interests and o en hold o ine activities, such as trips to local art exhibitions.Sina Weibo(http://t.sina. ) is a Chinese microblogging site, similar to Twitter, launched by Sina corporation, China's biggest web portal, in August 2009. According to Sina, it now has more than 60,000 veri ed accounts, consisting of celebrities, sports stars and other VIPs. It enables its users to send and read messages which are textbased posts of up to 140 characters displayed on the13Social Networking Introductionuser's pro le page. Senders can restrict message delivery to just their followers. 开心网开心网是中国人气颇高的社交网 络 服 务 网 站 之 一， 创 建 于 2008 年 3 月，主要是为青年职业者中 较成熟的一群人设计的，成员多 为北京、广州、上海以及二级城 市中的白领。网站提供照片分享 服务、在线聊天服务、音乐分享 服务、网络存储服务、博客托管 服务、互动游戏等服务。在网站 运营的最初阶段，有两项游戏最 火，一个是好友买卖，即好友间 可以互相定价并买卖，另一个是 开心农场， 用户可以在自己的 “菜 园” “种菜”“收菜”“售卖” 、 、 ， 还可以去朋友的“菜园” “偷菜” 。 在白领圈一时大受欢迎，有人甚 至调好闹钟半夜起来“偷菜” 。社交网络Social Networking Introductionteens through age 25, o en from second- and third-tier cities. A sizable portion of migrant workers, many of whom share personal diaries in a blog-like format, use QZone. Groupon人网，希望能够使用户和服务更 加多元化。 览无关的页面。由于事先的商家 经过一定的程序筛选，也为网友 省去了大量比对的时间，从而能 很快决定是否消费。社交网络and 67th overall according to Alexa Internet. Kaixin001 clone and brought the most famous successful Facebook applications to the Chinese Market before anyone else. For example: Friends for Sale: A game that users can price and sell their friends. Happy Farm: Users can grown their own vegetables and steal vegetables from their friends. 人人网 (原校内网)人人网原名校内网，于1999年5 月创立，是中国最早的社交网站 之一。人人网刚建立时最重要的 一个特点是限制具有特定大学IP 地址或者大学电子邮箱的用户注 册，这样就保证了注册用户绝大 多数都是在校大学生。用户注册 之后可以粘贴自己的照片，撰写 日志，签写留言等。该网站鼓励 大学生用户实名注册，上传真实 照片，让大学生在网络上体验到 现实生活的乐趣。之后更名为人高朋高朋是美国最大团购网站 Group on 与 腾 讯 合 资 的 中 文 版 Groupon团购站。它与传统团购 网站的区别是，第一，网友登录 网站后，不需要在眼花缭乱的商 品中寻找自己想找的信息，整个 网站首页只提供一件商品，简单 明了，避免网友花费大量时间浏RenRen (), the platform in China most similar to Facebook, attracts university students who use the platform to connect and interact with classmates. e site is organized around users' school and graduation class. Many users upload videos and photos of their activities. QZoneQQ空间QQ空间是中国第一个、也是最 大的社交网络，吸引了二、三级 城市25岁以下的年轻人。其中很 大一部分用户是外来工人，他们 喜欢在博客类平台上分享个人日 记。用户还可以在QQ空间上传 自己的图片，听音乐，写心情， 并根据自己的喜好设定空间的背 景、小挂件等。Groupon is a deal-of-theday website that is localized to major geographic markets worldwide. e company o ers one &Groupon& (&group coupon&) per day in each of the markets it serves. e Groupon works as an assurance contract using ePoint's platform: if a certain number of people sign up for the o er, then the deal becomes available if the predetermined minimum is not met, no one gets the deal that day. Groupon worked with Tencent and formed Gaopeng inChina.Kaixin001 (www.kaixin001. com) is a social networking website launched in March, 2008. In 2010, Kaixin001 ranks as the 13th most popular website in ChinaQZone (http://qzone. qq.com), the rst and largest social networking site in China, attracts youth from 14 15How to Make Friends怎样扩展交际圈How to Make Friends怎样扩展交际圈中英对照也许你对“社交”这个词的概念 很模糊，或者说每个人都有着不 同的理解。有些人很享受一个人 的时光，因为可以随心所欲做自 己想做的事，比如散步、读书、 写作、即兴创作情诗等等。但是 如果你想多一些娱乐方式，与别 人互动，你周围的潜在朋友也是 非常多的。你也许不知道，他们 也和你一样渴望交朋友。 新朋友不只能让你认识更多的 人，他们还能让你接触新的事物 和生活方式，扩展你的视野，为 生活带来新鲜和乐趣。其实很多 场所都可以认识新朋友，比如健 身房、俱乐部、社团等等，在参 与集体活动的同时，不妨多认识 些朋友吧。下面这些小技巧能够 帮助你有效扩展交际圈，增加人 脉，让你的生活丰富多彩。How to Make Friends怎样扩展交际圈In the absence of agreement about its meaning, the term &social& is used in many di erent senses and regarded as a fuzzy concept. ere's a certain beauty in being a lone wolf. You have more time to do the things you want to do, like take introspective walks, read books, write, create instant romantic poetry, and other solitary endeavors. If you want to diversify your options, though, there are always literally billions of potential friends in the world. What's more, many of these 16people want to make friends just as much as you do. So consider these suggestions to meet people and form strong, lasting friendships.17How to Make Friends怎样扩展交际圈How to Make Friends怎样扩展交际圈StepsSteps必胜步骤中英对照1. Be yourself/ be true to yourself. A true friend will like you for who you are, not who you pretend to be.做最真实的自己。真正的朋友不 会介意你的真实性格，但是他们 讨厌伪装。 做志愿者。这样你可以接触到不 同年龄层的人。必 胜 步骤6. Talk to people. You don't have to be involved with an organization to be social, and any time you talk to someone, you have a chance at making a lasting friend. You can talk to anybody.和人们交谈。这并不是说你一定 要参加某个组织才能与人交流， 只要你和别人交谈，都会有机会 和他们成为好朋友。2. Spend more time around people. If you want to make friends, you rst need to put yourself out there somehow in order to meet people.要多与人交往，多与人接触，这 样才能认识更多朋友。3. Join an organization with people who have common interests. You don't necessarily have to have a lot of common interests with people in order to make friends with them.与志趣相投的人一起参加活动。 其实你并不需要和他们有太多共 同的兴趣。7. Make eye contact and smile. If you have an unfriendly countenance, people are less likely to be receptive to your friendship.与人进行眼神交流并微笑。如果 你表情冷漠，别人是不会愿意和 你成为朋友的。a laid-back attitude could be a great way to make new friends.加入运动队，支持你的队员，这 样可以结识很多新朋友。4. Join a sports team. As long as you enjoy the sport and support your teammates, joining a local team with 185. Volunteer. Volunteering is a great way for people of all ages to meet others. 19How to Make Friends怎样扩展交际圈How to Make Friendsdon't try to force intimacy to grow quickly.千万别心急，做朋友需要时间， 要慢慢来，强扭的瓜不甜。怎样扩展交际圈8. Start a conversation. ere are
a comment about your immediate environment, a request for help or a compliment.展开话题。其实这并不难，评论 一下周围的环境，请人帮忙，或 者听别人的赞美都可以开始一段 对话。12. If you've discovered that the person you're talking to has a common interest, ask him or her more about it and, if appropriate, whether they get together with others to pursue this interest. If so, this is a perfect opportunity to ask about joining them. 11. Initiate a get-together. You can chat your heart out but it won't get you a friend if you don't open up the opportunity for another conversation or meeting.提出下次聚会。一次的掏心掏肺 不会让你赢得朋友，一定要创造 再次见面的机会。 如果你发现聊天的人和你有共同 的兴趣爱好，应该多和他们聊 聊，如果可以的话，可以问问他 们是否和其他人一起进行这项活 动，你就可以趁机参与其中。15. Be a good friend. Once you've started spending time with potential friends, remember to do your part (e.g. initiating some of the activities, remembering birthdays, asking how the other person is feeling).做一个称职的朋友。一旦和有可 能成为朋友的人相处时，你一定 要做一个称职的朋友，比如组织 聚会、记住对方的生日、关注对 方的感受。9. Make small talk. Keep the conversation light and cheery.闲聊，尽量让话题和气氛轻松 愉悦。16. Be reliable. When you say you'll do something, do it. Be someone that people know that they can count on.要可靠，一诺千金，要让别人感 到你是值得信赖的朋友。about them, ask questions about their interests, and just take the time to learn more about them.倾听别人，记住关于他们的一些 细节，询问他们的兴趣爱好，多 花时间了解他们。要值得信赖。做知己最重要的是 能为别人保守秘密，所以如果有 人要求你保守秘密，你决不能向 其他人提起。想要别人对你无话 不谈，你应该在他们的心目中建 立起信任感。10. Introduce yourself at the end of the conversation. Once you introduce yourself, the other person will typically do the same. Remember his or her name!在交谈结束时介绍自己。这时， 对方也会介绍自己。一定要记住 他们的姓名。13. Ask them out for lunch or co ee. at will give you a better opportunity to talk and get to know each other a little bit better.邀请他们一起吃饭或喝咖啡，你 们就可以多些机会互相了解。17. Be a good listener. Listen carefully to what people say, remember important details14. Don't do anything to pressure someone into being friends with you. In general, take friendship slowly, and18. Be trustworthy. e key to being a good con dante is the ability to keep secrets, so it's no secret that you shouldn't tell other people things that were told to you in con dence. Before people even feel comfortable opening up to you, however, you need to build trust.19. Be there for the person. Part of being a friend is being prepared to make sacri ces of your time and energy in order to help out your friends. If a friend needs help with an unpleasant chore, or if he or she just needs a shoulder to cry on, be there.做朋友的坚强后盾。朋友间的交 往意味着你需要付出时间和精力2021How to Make Friends怎样扩展交际圈How to Make Friends怎样扩展交际圈Tips温馨小贴士来倾听或者帮助他们。如果有朋 友需要你的帮助，不管这件事多 么让你不舒服，或者他/她只是 需要靠在你的肩膀大哭一场，请 做好他们的后援。them to invite those people to hang out with the two of you.交游甚广的朋友可以带你认识更 多的人。如果你有这样的朋友， 他们正好认识一些不错的人，你 可以让他们介绍你们认识，一起 出去玩儿。contact with other people who could be great friends.参加培训班、俱乐部、志愿者机 构等，这些活动能让你认识很多 好朋友。20. Choose your friends wisely. Cherish those friends you make who are positive in uences in your life, and do your best to be a positive in uence in theirs.谨慎交友。要珍惜那些给你带来 正面影响的朋友，同时你也要尽 力做同样的事。22. Reach out to others. Try to be open to new experiences and relationships.主动接触他人，要有包容接纳 之心。24. Do not be too touchy at rst. It could scare people away.不要过于敏感，会吓走别人的。25. Have a clean face and try to look the best you can.保持外表干净整洁。21. &Friends of a Friend&. If you have a friend who knows some good people that you aren't acquainted with, ask 2223. Participate in classes, clubs, or volunteer organizations. ese activities will bring you into 23How to Make Friends怎样扩展交际圈How to Make Friendsmeet because of time and distance. Expect to have to si through a lot of people online before you nd the right one for you.总体来说，互联网确实是一个扩 大交际圈的途径，但是你需要花 费大量时间上网与人聊天，往往 他们与你有时差或者距离很远。 你需要筛选大量的信息才能找到 适合你的朋友。怎样扩展交际圈Tips温馨小贴士You do need to be positive and friendly, however, so that people feel good when they're around you.你无须像超级巨星一样成为全场 焦点，也无须扮小丑逗乐，你只 需积极友善，这样周围的人也会 觉得舒服。中英对照Learn to entertain. Create a reason why people would want to come over to your place. O er something to people that they don't already have just to create a meeting atmosphere.学会让别人开心，让他们有充足 的理由来参加你的聚会。Along with learning to entertain, try to be unique to attract attention. When you have something interesting that people can learn from you, they tend to stick around and ask you questions.懂得让别人开心的同时，还要让 自己有吸引别人的地方。他们对 你有兴趣时，就会围在你身边。From the very rst conversation you have with someone, you should use body language to convey that you are a able, non-threatening, and approachable. Smile frequently, laugh o en, and make eye contact. In your words, be con dent, but don't be cocky, condescending, or mean-spirited.从一开始聊天，你就应该善用肢 体语言，告诉别人你很友好，没 有威胁，可以接近。保持微笑， 时不时笑出声，保持眼神交流。 要自信，但是不要趾高气扬、居 高临下、或小气。Breathe. Breathe in, breathe out.深呼吸，别紧张。You don't have to be popular to make friends, just be kind and polite and you'll have friends in no time!你不需要成为万人迷才能交到朋 友，你只需友善、礼貌。Don't be friends with mean people.不要和卑劣的人做朋友。You don't have to be a superstar to be fun. You don't even have to do cartwheels.In general, the Internet is a great place to make friends, but... it's also easy to invest a lot of time online with someone you think of as a friend, but then you never 24 25Managing Relationships人际管理Managing Relationships人际管理中文导读除非与世隔绝，除非像鲁滨逊一 样独自生活在孤岛上，不然每天 我们都会接触到周围不同的人， 家人、朋友、同事、客户…… 人 际关系的好坏对一个人的发展和 成功起着至关重要的作用。Managing Relationships人际管理在工作中又有哪些人际管理的秘 诀呢？上司、下属、同行、竞争 对手、合作伙伴等这些形形色色 的工作关系你是否可以应付自如 呢？面对困难该如何解决？怎样 做才能清楚明白地表达自己的意 思，而不会产生误解？遇到问题 是应该极力寻找借口推卸责任还 是想办法努力解决？换位思考和 换角度思考的好处是什么？平时 的点滴关心和支持在人际交往中 起着怎样的作用？有效的沟通技 巧包括哪些方面？细细阅读以下 内容，你将一一找到答案！Unless you are isolated, or living on an island populated only by yourself, you will interact with people every day of your life. erefore, you are continually creating and developing relationships with the people you know and meet. Mostly, this is done witho but whether it's a partner, child, parent, friend or the greengrocer, these relationships don't just happen on their own. You gain knowledge, experience and understanding on di erent levels about the people in your life, and that a ects the way you deal withthem. In other words, as a human being, you get pretty experienced in managing the relationships around you. In the work place, however, managing relationships takes on a new and di erent importance. ink of the myriad relationships that may happen in a day:Good Relationship Management良好的人际管理为什么要去管理人际关系，而不 能让它自行发展？原因在于人际 关系并非一成不变，不断发展和 优化才能使其保持最佳状态，发 挥最大效用 。积极主动是管理好 人际关系的必备素质，要时刻关 注变化，从容应对困难，妥善解 决问题。2627Managing Relationshipsyou may deal with peers, superiors, subordinates, business partners, clients, customers and suppliers. You do have to gi you're given responsibilities and objectives. You may go on special courses to help. On top of this there will be expectations from colleagues about your abilities to manage others up and down the corporate ladder both inside and outside the company. Why do these relationships have to be managed anyway? It seems so calculated or premeditated. Why can't they just happen and evolve in their own way? You do your job, they do theirs, and somehow you meet in the人际管理Managing RelationshipsIn turn, when you manage people well they wi they will want to deal with you or your company. ey will know that if they present you with a di culty they're not going to get a blank stare, you won't get defensive or respond with, &Well, it's not really my problem.& You can't mitigate against all di culties, but you can certainly ensure that those di culties have a far better chance of getting resolved. We'll be looking at some of the things you can do a bit later on. But rst let's look at some of the pitfalls.人际管理middle. Sadly, it doesn't work that way. Managing people e ectively does mean a bit of calculation, premeditation and work on your part. e reason this is so is because relationships cannot be allowed to get static: to work well, they must continually develop and grow. A good working relationship is a dynamic one. is is the way they avoid becoming stale and falling into predictable patterns, which is when mistakes are made. But also, 'managing' relationships means that you become alert to and aware of changing needs, of di culties that arise or of issues that need resolving. You become proactive.Well managed relationships好的人际关系人际关系若能管理得当，在工 作中就能如鱼得水、游刃有 余。日常沟通看似不费吹灰之 力，其实已达到相当高的境 界。任何客户都希望和关系良 好的个人或企业合作，他们知 道一旦出现问题时，对方总能 积极回应、妥善处理，绝不会 推卸责任、漠不关心。When people are in wellmanaged relationships they feel aligned, committed, on board and motivated. eir needs and wants
their quirks and individual ways of working ar their contributions are being acknowledged. Communication seems to work e ortlessly (Not so! E ort is always needed when dealing with others, but it can look incredibly easy when it has become a natural part of a person's style).People who manage well already communicate at a very high level, because it is only through outstanding communication that the best relationships get developed. If you think about it, you will have had experiences of being 'handled' so well that you didn't really know it was happening at the time. You will have le the meeting, hung up the phone, walked o an exhibition stand or come out of a one-to-one feeling well taken care of, listened to with attentiveness and responded to with consideration. We all go back to the people and places who make an e ort, extend themselves and create some kind of connection with us. When we have been well managed the relationship grows. Because loyalty and trust are built, dealing with those people is something we look forward to and appreciate.ere are any number of things that can knock a working relationship out of kilter or o -balance. ere may be times when you feel that the other person has the upper hand or has to be accommodated more than you would like. You may feel on the receiving end of blame when things go wrong, or that the other person has been around longer and knows more than you. ere may be di cult history or stored resentments that you know nothing about, which, however, still a ect how the other person sees you or your company. You may simply be doing things di erently from your predecessor and other people haven't adjusted to that yet. You could both be 'speaking the same language' but using di eren you could be making incorrect assumptions about each other or simplyWhen managing relationships goes wrong人际管理出现问题时工作中人际关系可能会在不经意 间出现问题，可能由于你的做法 和前任有区别，使对方一时半会 儿无法适应，可能由于误解影响 了正常的沟通交流。通常，人际 关系出现问题时会有产生两种情 况，一种是质疑自己的能力、不 确定自己的位置、自信心大受打 击；另一种是希望改变当初的做 法，希望对方能更多的体谅和理 解自己。然而，我们不能反悔过 去发生的事，而且每个人所能改 变的也只有自己。2829Managing Relationshipsmisunderstanding what the other person is saying. Now, two things usually happen when things start to go wrong, or if you've inherited a situation that's already fraught with di culties. e rst is that you start to feel unskilled, unsure of the ground you're standing on and your con dence begins to drain away. at's a natural response: when your skills are working well you'll feel m and when something comes along that knocks you back, it feels a lot harder to get back on track.人际管理Managing Relationshipsno matter how much you might wish otherwise. What can make things even more tricky is that the other person m well and truly di cult: a bully, perhaps, or someone who just doesn't listen or someone who's under so much pressure they hand their stress on to you. It seems so logical to imagine that things really would improve if only the other person could see the situation the way you see it. However much you may wish it, it just doesn't work that way. Now this certainly doesn't mean that things are hopeless or beyond repair, it's just that sometimes it can feel that way. One of the frustrations that many people experience is that they can't control what other people do or say. ings happen that we don't want to happen or things don't happen that we wish would. It's so frustrating! e stark truth is we none of us can be in total control.人际管理e second is that if you are in any way relating to other people, there is always the desire for them to change or do things di erently to make your life better. Everyone has had the experience of ending a phone conversation or leaving a meeting thinking how much better the discussion would have gone 'if only' the other person had been more co-operative or understood more fully where you were coming from. However, when you are managing your relationships, there is no 'if only' about it: the only person you can be sure of changing is you,what you want them to do. You know, that just doesn't happen in the real world, where people continually do the unexpected. Control is exhausting. e more you develop the capacity to change what you do to create a di erent response in the other person, the more you are managing your relationships.We can, however, be in charge, which is di erent.我们不能控制别人， 但实施管理却是可能的。 控制和管理不同。控制是要求别人按照自己设想的 目标去行动，而管理是在认清并 接受现状的基础上去解决问题。 管理的感觉是你所做的事情力所 能及，也能处理产生的问题。控 制的感觉是你绝对确信别人会严 格按自己的意思行动。我们要知 道，完全控制别人是不现实的， 往往造成事与愿违的后果。doesn't happen you can feel powerless and then o en blame the other person for not meeting your standards or expectations. Being in charge di ers in that it means you both see and accept a situation for what it really is, not what you wish it to be. Acceptance doesn't mean resignation, however. What it does mean is that once you understand the reality, you can then begin to work with, work around, compensate and otherwise accommodate the di culties. e feeling of being in charge happens when you have several things you know you can do or try in order to recover when something goes amiss. e feeling of being in control is when you have absolute certainty that people will do exactlyChange what you do改变做法第一要认清现状，了解对方。第 二要注意自己的态度和对方的期 望。对周围的人和事以及所处环 境做个认真、全面、客观的评估 和分析，积极改进人际关系管理 中的不足之处，保持和巩固做得 不错的方面。So what do we mean by changing what you do? e rst thing you need to do is to review the current situation and ask yourself some relevant questions so you can determine justSo what's the di erence between being in control and being in charge? When you attempt to be in control, you are trying to get other people to conform to your picture of the way things should be. When that3031Managing Relationshipswhat is going on. is will certainly get you focused on the nature of the relationship. You should look at the person whom you are talking to or meeting with in the context of their history within the company and with you. Where do you think they might be coming from? In other words, what's on their agenda? Could there be a hidden agenda or a subtext you need to be alert to (there generally is)? What are any outstanding issues that need to be resolved before you can move on? Next, you should look at your attitudes and expectations of the other person. Are you able to see their point of view? Are you sympathetic to their di culties? Are you responding to them with what you think they need or what you know they need? What's the context? Is this人际管理Managing Relationshipswould like extra guidance, but you're too intimidated to ask? In looking at your side, what skills do you bring to these meetings? What do you want from the relationship and what's your bottom line? What are you willing to 'give away' and what, if any, aces do you have up your sleeve? Do you and/or they have a good idea of the big picture? Once you've assessed what's really going on, then you can start to manage the situation either by initiating changes to the relationship or, just as important, reinforcing what's already working well. So what sort of changes? How is this done most e ectively? Since, as a culture, we're used to seeing what's wrong we really are quite pro cient at cataloguing our own de ciencies. What if we turned a few of them on their heads? Version One: &I'm only a 25 year old woman with hardly any experience. I have to work with men at least twice my age who are used to dealing with peers and I feel intimidated and out of my depth. I feel I've lost before I've begun.& Version Two: &I'm a 25 year old woman with a fresh perspective and fortunately I o er a point of view unclouded by history or past expectations. I have the enthusiasm that these kind of projects need and I can make it easier for people who haven't worked with young women before because I can understand where they might be uncomfortable.& Version One: &Our department is always getting the blame because人际管理a person who relies on you because they always know you'll be respo or are they someone who's so used to being let down by circumstances, seemingly out of your control, that they expect disappointment? Perhaps it's a colleague who always expects your help and chooses not to notice that you're snowed under yourself. Or perhaps it's someone who doesn't acknowledge your promotion prospects and never supports your applications. Is it a colleague from whom youChange the way you perceive your situation改变角度思考自己的处境25岁的职场新人可以在还没大展 拳脚之前就消极、害怕、迷茫， 也可以充满热情和自信地看待全 新的工作环境，迎接未来的机遇 和挑战。同样，当自己的部门遭 到投诉时，可以选择委屈、无奈 地抱怨，也可以选择积极乐观地 接受。we don't get the backup we need from other divisions. As soon as someone starts in on us we have to defend ourselves and we inevitably end up apologising. Other people always have the upper hand and we never feel we're on a level playing eld.& Version Two: &When people criticise us for mistakes they sometimes have a good point. Our expertise is valuable, so if we respond to their complaints and show that we take their concerns seriously, then we will know in more detail what will reassure them. We can pre-empt di culties by keeping them informed of what's going on at our end.& 3332Managing Relationships人际管理Managing Relationships人际管理A change of attitude makes a big di erence转变态度，改变结果在困难和挫折背后往往暗藏机 遇，只有积极应对自己的处境， 才能适时抓住机遇。当我们想在 人际管理方面取得成功，就必须 在碰到问题时努力寻求解决的途 径，而不是专注于问题本身，指 责别人、找借口推卸都是于事无 补的。By changing your own attitude, you change the way you perceive the situation. at, in turn, changes the way others perceive you. In a way you are managing your relationship with yourself as much as with other people. e external circumstances may not have changed (yet), but a shi in attitude and approach will create a better chance of them doing so. We know from all our experience in the eld that if you want to make a signi cant di erence in the way you manage relationships, you need to feed the solution, not the problem. A change in attitude does just that. Blame, excuses, defensiveness all feed the problem and keep the focus on what needs to be ' xed'. It's back to the 'if only' scenario.Some things that can help feed the solution有助于解决问题的几个 方面 Changing how people see you改变别人对你的看法通过沟通和协商表明自己的立场 和态度。误解往往来自于你的模 糊表述，或者自认为别人应该知 道的，其实别人并不清楚。成积极处理问题的工作氛围也 是大有裨益的。and people know where they stand. Believe it or not, people like that. Seeing things from their point of view换位思考换位思考是很重要的沟通技 巧。仅从个人角度思考问题是 非常狭隘的，也不可能获得预 想的结果。Turning beliefs on their head creates a change of attitude. Suddenly what looked like bad news, becomes good news, and presents you with an opportunity to do something di erent. Not every de ciency can be turned into a strength, but there's no way you can positively in uence other people if all you can see are di culties with no way out. Di culties sap, opportunities feed and can be grasped. 34is can be achieved by negotiating and setting clear boundaries with them. Misunderstanding occurs when you have fuzzy boundaries or make assumptions that the other person must know what you're thinking and feeling. If you set appropriate boundaries everyone knows what the parameters of the relationship are. You come across as clear and directDon't hope they'll go away or wait till they get so big you can no longer avoid them (this usually entails a lot of other people getting involved in trying to sort out the mess). Even if your solutions don't always work - and they won't - you will have created a problemsolving environment. Find out what they want弄清楚别人的需求我们时常自认为很清楚别人要的 是什么，事实却并非如此。我们 所提供的有可能并不是对方真正 需要的。为了明确需求，要给予 更多关注，也可以直接询问。they should want), rather than what they actually need. By nding out what it is that will support them, you are demonstrating concern and attentiveness. If you're able to give it to them, all the better. When that isn't possible, it's still better to ask and make the try than to stick with your assumptions, which may or may not be accurate. Give more than they expect给别人比期望的更多这并不是指需要多做什么，而是 在平时维系人际关系时提供更多 关注、建议和支持。正是这些细 小的、别人不期待你能做什么的 方面，往往在人际管理中起着至 关重要的作用，起着积极深远的 影响。is is essential. It's a key communication skill. If you see things solely from your vantage point you will only provide solutions from that perspective. What is more, you will spend fruitless amounts of time trying to get others to see what you see instead of the other way around. Initiate solutions as problems arise一出现问题就要着手去解决别指望问题会自己解决，也别 等到一发不可收拾才去处理。 要习惯在问题出现时立即着手 解决， 即使没有任何效果，形is seems so obvious and simple that it gets overlooked surprisingly o en. It's easy to assume what other people want without checking it out. To compound things, we o en give people what we want to give them (or thinkNot necessarily do more. But keeping your relationships with other people dynamic means noticing what's going on with them and35Managing Relationshipso ering insight, ideas and support (if needed). It means recognising and acknowledging their contributions. In other words, by adding something they aren't expecting, you create or reinforce a positive impact. You're looking here at the relationship equivalent of loyalty points!人际管理Managing Relationshipsbetter. Mostly it's about getting to feel more secure and con dent in your own capabilities, combined with really hearing what people want and need and trying to give it to them. It's about being clear and communicating in ways that people understand. I and it needs to be training that identi es and builds your current strengths and capabilities, not something that tries to teach you incompatible skills or the 'right' way to manage. Managing relationships well can be the most valuable skill you ever acquire. It is the key to getting the success you want.人际管理If you're good, if you're better, get brilliant. Listening, responding, dealing with con ict, negotiating skills, learning to say 'no' and 'yes' when appropriate, are all important elements in communication. And the more e ective your communication, the better managed your relationships will be. One nal point: sometimes there really is nothing you can do to alter a di cult situation or create a di erent response in another person. What you can do, however, is to feel a whole lot better in yourself for the trying. It really isn't all that di cult to learn how to manage the relationships you haveKeep developing your communication skills不断提升沟通技巧倾听、反馈、处理矛盾、谈判技 巧、适时接受或拒绝都是沟通中 非常重要的几个方面。沟通越有 效，人际关系就越融洽。通过不 断的实践和经验积累能提升人际 管理能力，出色的人际管理是取 得成功的关键因素。3637Popular Social Occasions有趣的社交活动Popular Social Occasions有趣的社交活动中文导读O ce Party = an evening or a ernoon party organized by your place of work. It could include lunch, or drinks, or a &secret Santa& where each employee anonymously buys a present for another employee. Family Gathering = when family members meet for lunch, dinner, or the whole day.西方国家在圣诞节和元旦会有很 长的假期，平时也喜欢举办一些 有趣的派对，有唱圣诞圣歌，参 演学校话剧，家族聚会，鸡尾酒 派对，宾果游戏等等。你知道这 些活动的内容是什么吗？如何才 能融入集体活动呢？看看下面的 介绍就一目了然了。Popular Social Occasions有趣的社交活动Carol Concert = a Christmas occasion where people o en go to church to hear carols sung. Carols are religious songs on the theme of Christmas. School Play = a play where school children play the roles. A nativity play tells the story of the birth of Jesus.Cocktail Party = a party in the early evening, where people dress quite formally for drinks. Informal Drinks = an informal party at your house where you serve drinks and snacks. A Drink-up = a party in a pub organized by your colleagues or friends.In western countries, the two or three-week period over Christmas and New Year is o en a time when people socialize C either going out, or entertaining guests at home. Some social occasions are formal, while others are informal parties for family or friends. Here are the names for some common social occasions: 3839Popular Social OccasionsPub Quiz Night = when a group of friends go to the pub to take part in a quiz. ey organize themselves into teams, and try to get the most answers right to win a prize. Fundraising Event / Charity Do = &do& is a more informal way of saying &event&. At these events, the aim is to raise money for a worthwhile cause. O en they involve a formal dinner, well-known speakers, or a ra e / auction (where people bid to buy an object.)有趣的社交活动Popular Social OccasionsDinner dance = an oldfashioned, quite formal occasion, where couples eat dinner, then dance Waltzes etc.有趣的社交活动Fancy-dress Party = a party where everyone wears a costume on a particular theme. A Ball = a formal evening occasion where people dance. For example, a fancy-dress ball is a more formal equivalent to a fancy-dress party. Bingo = where people buy a card with numbers on it, then listen to an announcer reading out numbers. If you hear your numbers, you call &Bingo!& and win a money prize.4041Social Customs社交礼节TimeSocial Customs社交礼节合 适 的 赴 约时 间4243Social Customs社交礼节Social Customs社交礼节Time合适的赴约时间中英对照Nowadays people place considerable value on punctuality. It is o en considered impolite to arrive even a few minutes late. If you are unable to keep an appointment, it is expected that you call the person you are meeting. Some general tips follow. You should arrive: * At the exact time speci ed C for dinner, lunch, or appointments with professors, doctors, and other professionals. * Any time during the hours speci ed for teas, receptions, and cocktail parties. * A few minutes early: for public meetings, plays, concerts, movies, sporting events, classes, church services, and weddings. If you are invited to someone's house for dinner at half past seven, they will expect you to be there on the dot. An invitation might state &7:30 - 8&, in which case you should arrive no later than 7:50. However, if an invitation says &sharp&, you must arrive in plenty of time.现代社会人们越来越注意守时 了，这是一个很好的习惯，也 是对别人的尊重。要注意邀请 函上的时间，一定要按时赴 约，如果会迟到，记得要事先 通知对方，并表达歉意。以下 是一些注意事项：Invitations邀约* 如果聚餐、与教授会面、看医生或其他事宜，你应该按邀请函 上的时间准时到场。* 如果参加茶话会、接待会、鸡尾酒会等，你可以在活动举办时 间段内入场。* 如果参加大型会议、看话剧、听音乐会、看电影、看体育比 赛、参加培训课、去教堂做礼 拜、参加婚礼等，最好提前到 场。 如果你获邀去朋友家吃晚餐，且 邀请函上注明7点半，你最好能 按那个时间点到场。如果邀请函 上注明“7:30-8:00”，你最晚应 该在7:50到。如果写着“准时” 二字，那么你一定要留有充足的 时间准时到达。4445Social Customs社交礼节Social Customs社交礼节Invitations邀约中文导读没有得到邀请就赴约是很不礼 貌的行为。“随时欢迎来我们 家”、“什么时候过来玩儿 吧”，这些都是寒暄的场面话。 如果想要拜访某人，一定要事先 打电话告知对方，并约好时间地 点。如果不打算赴约，就不要轻 易接受邀请。赴约时应该带一些 小礼物，以表示自己对主人的感 谢和心意。事后还可以给对方发 一封感谢函，表示对于邀请和聚 会的谢意。to an event that says &RSVP&, you should respond to let the person who sent the invitation know whether or not you plan to attend. Never accept an invitation unless you really plan to go. You may refuse by saying, & ank you for inviting me, but I will not be able to come.& If, a er accepting, you are unable to attend, be sure to tell those expecting you as far in advance as possible that you will not be there. Although it is not necessarily expected that you give a gi to your host, it is considered polite to do so, especially if you have been invited for ameal. Flowers, chocolate, or a small gi are all appropriated. A thank-you note or telephone call a er the visit is also considered polite and is an appropriate means to express your appreciation for the invitation.&Drop in anytime& and &come see me soon& are idioms o en used in social settings but seldom meant to be taken literally. It is wise to telephone before visiting someone at home. If you receive a written invitationDress46着装47Social Customs社交礼节Social Customs社交礼节Dress着装中英对照Everyday dress is appropriate for most visits to peoples' homes. You may want to dress more formally when attending a holiday dinner or cultural event, such as a concert or theatre performance.一般赴约的着装可以随意一些， 如果参加正式场合的聚会、音乐 会等就应该穿得正式些。Introduction and Greeting自我介绍和问候4849Social Customs社交礼节Social Customs社交礼节Introduction and Greeting自我介绍和问候中英对照It is proper to shake hands with everyone to whom you are introduced, both men and women. An appropriate response to an introduction is &Pleased to meet you&. If you want to introduce yourself to someone, extend you hand for a handshake and say &Hello, I am....&. Hugging is only for friends.在进行自我介绍或当别人介绍自 己时，应该礼貌地说“你好”、 “很高兴认识你”等。如果你想 自我介绍，你可以与别人握手并 说“你好，我是某某某”。但是 拥抱仅限于亲近的朋友之间。Dining就餐礼节5051Social Customs社交礼节Social Customs社交礼节Dining就餐礼节中英对照When you accept a dinner invitation, tell your host if you have any dietary restrictions. He or she will want to plan a meal that you can enjoy. e evening meal is the main meal of the day in most cultures. Food may be served in one of several ways: &family style,& by passing the serving plates from one to another aro &bu et style,& with guests serving the and &serving style,& with the host lling each plate and passing it to each person. Guests usually wait until everyone at their table has been served before they begin to eat. Food is eaten with a knife and fork and dessert with a spoon and fork.如果受邀聚餐，你可以告诉主人 自己的饮食禁忌，方便他们准 备，因为主人都希望客人能够吃 得愉快。在大多数的文化里，晚 餐是一天最重要的一餐。 就餐有多种方式。家庭式――用 餐者将盛满食物的盘子用手递 给别人，一个传一个；自助餐 式――客人按自己的喜好拿取食 物；上菜式――由主人为客人盛 菜，并递给客人。一般大家都是 等在座的所有宾客盛好菜之后才 开动碗筷。用刀叉吃饭，用勺叉 吃甜点。5253Social Taboos社交禁忌Social Taboos社交禁忌What are Social Taboos54什么是社交禁忌55Social Taboos社交禁忌Social Taboos社交禁忌What are Social Taboos什么是社交禁忌中文导读or abhorrent by society. When an activity or custom is taboo, it is forbidden and interdictions are implemented concerning it, such as the ground set apart as a sanctuary for criminals. Some taboo activities or customs are prohibited under law and transgressions may lead to severe penalties. Other taboos result in embarrassment, shame, and rudeness. Although critics and/or dissenters may oppose taboos, they are put into place to avoid disrespect to any given authority, be it legal, moral and/or religious. Taboos can include sex, death, dietary restrictions (halal and kosher diets, religious vegetarianism, and the prohibition of cannibalism), restrictions on sexual activities and relationships (sex outside of marriage, adultery, intermarriage, miscegenation, incest, animal-human sex, adultchild sex, sex with the dead), sexual fetishes, restrictions of bodily functions (burping, atulence, defecation and urination), restrictions on the use of psychoactive drugs, restrictions on state of genitalia such as (transsexual gender identity, circumcision or sex reassignment), exposure of body parts (ankles in the Victorian British Empire, women's hair in parts of the Middle East, nudity in the US), and restrictions on the use of o ensive language. Foot Binding, practiced in ancient China, would also be considered taboo in the context of modern cultural mores.与人交往时，需要注意很多社交 礼节和习俗，但是还有很多禁忌 你可能不是很熟悉，比如伊斯兰 教不能吃猪肉，交往时不要随便 问别人的私事，不要随便臆测别 人的私人信息等。有时候中文表 达没有任何歧义，但是英文就有 了不同的意思，会让听者误会甚 至感到被冒犯，所以应该充分了 解这些禁忌，避免不必要的误会 和尴尬。Common Social Taboos常见社交禁忌A taboo is a strong social prohibition (or ban) relating to any area of human activity or social custom that is sacred and forbidden based on moral judgment and sometimes even religious beliefs. ere several kinds of taboos, for example, taboo in social life, numbers, and animals, colors, etc. Breaking the taboo is usually considered objectionable 5657Social Taboos社交禁忌Social Taboos你的姐妹比你漂亮多了。在某些文化里，这句话并没什么 不妥，但是很可能会伤害对方。 最稳妥的是做法是不要去比较，社交禁忌Common Social Taboos常见社交禁忌中英对照Every culture has its rules on how you are to act. e social rules and customs, the cultural obligations, and the violations are all di erent and unique. Also, there are certain topics that are taboo to speak about. In some cultures, it may be about age while in others it may be about money. Remember as you meet new friends and colleagues, that casual conversation topics in your language may not be acceptable in English. Here's a short list of what not to say to avoid insult or embarrassment at any social occasion.中文不同的文化背景会遵从不同 的社交禁忌，比如社会规则、习 俗、文化差异、话题等等。有些 文化不会谈论年龄，有些不会谈 论金钱。当你认识了新朋友，也 许你不经意的一个话题会让对方in many places to talk about money or salary. 你赚多少钱？这个话题太私人了，很不礼貌， 会让别人很尴尬。人们一般是不 会谈论薪水的。There are also some other aspects that you should keep in mind:Cover your mouth when you sneeze or cough. Do not greet people with a kiss. Do not pick your nose in public. Do say sorry. Open doors for other people. Say &Excuse me&, &Please& and & ank you&. Smile. Respect the elders. 还有一些注意事项要 牢记：be mistaken, you have managed to let out a big insult. See above. 你怀孕了吧！除非真的看起来很明显，你最好 不舒服，但是这个话题在你的国 家很平常。以下是一些共通的注 意事项，可以帮你避免尴尬和误 会，一定要牢记于心： 还是别这么说。如果事实并非如 此，你这句话就是对别人极大的 侮辱，就跟上一条一个效果。只用说他们的姐妹也很漂亮。That color doesn't suit you.Negative talk about appearances may ruin someone's evening especially if they've spent a lot on their out t. Try making someone's day, instead, by complimenting them on an article of clothing or an accessory you do like! 你不适合这个颜色。对外表的负面评价也许会让对方 一晚上都心情不好，尤其是当他 们费了很多心思打扮自己的时 候。这时你可以赞美他/她的配饰 或单品。You look sick.Said bluntly, this can de nitely be insulting. If someone really does look like they're not feeling well, you can ask, &Are you feeling OK?& 你看起来糟透了。如果这么直接地说出来就会冒犯 到别人。如果对方真的看起来不 舒服，你可以问：“你怎么了， 不舒服吗？”Is this your daughter? You've put on weight.Avoid pointing out that someone is fat or making any comments about weight, unless you're trying to be rude. is is o en a sensitive issue, and remarks such as &You're getting fat& are incredibly insulting. 你胖了。不要指出别人胖了，也不要对体 重做任何评价，除非你真的想表 现地无礼。体重和胖瘦是一个敏 感的话题，“你看起来胖了”是 一句非常侮辱人的话。Well, what if she happens to be his girlfriend? Avoid assuming relationships and instead wait to be introduced, or be bold and introduce yourself. 这是你女儿吗？如果不幸她是他的女友呢？所以 一定要避免随意的猜测，等着对 方来介绍，或主动介绍自己。How old are you?Age is a sensitive issue for many, and quite a few people are unwilling to reveal theirs. Stay away from asking this question unless you're chatting with a 6-year-old. ey're always happy to share their age! 你多大了？年龄是极其敏感的话题，很多人 都会排斥，所以你千万别问这个 问题，除非是问小朋友，他们都 挺喜欢告诉别人自己多大了。擤鼻涕或者咳嗽的时候请捂住 嘴。 别用吻来问候别人。 别在公众场合抠鼻子。 做错了要道歉。 为别人开门。 要说“不好意思”、“请”、 “谢谢”。 保持微笑。 尊重年长者。How much money do you make?While this isn't insulting, it's too personal and can leave someone in an awkward position. It's not customaryYour sister is so much prettier than you.While this may seem like a harmless comment in some cultures, it can hurt the feelings of the person you're talking to. Instead, leave out the comparisons and just mention that their sister is pretty.Oh you're pregnant!Unless it's really obvious, make it a point not to bring this up. If you happen to 5859Social Taboos社交禁忌Social Taboos社交禁忌Taboo Food and DrinkCommon Social Taboos常见社交禁忌中文导读bony sh, and crustaceans. Some taboos are speci c to a particular part or excretion of an animal, while other taboos forgo the consumption of plants, fungi, or insects. Food taboos can be de ned as a codi ed set of rules about which foods or combinations of foods may not be eaten and how animals are to be slaughtered. e origin of these prohibitions and commandments is varied. In some cases, these taboos are a result of health饮食禁忌也属于社交禁忌的一 种。不同的文化会有不同的饮食 禁忌，西方国家用餐不喜欢食用 动物内脏，有些宗教禁止喝酒。 充分了解这些禁忌，不但能有效 避免误会，也是对别人的尊重。饮食禁忌considerations or other practical reasons. In others, they are a result of human symbolic systems. Some foods may be prohibited during certain festivals (e.g. Lent), at certain times of life (e.g. pregnancy), or to certain classes of people (e.g. priests), although the food is in general permissible.Taboo food and drink are food and beverages which people abstain from consuming for religious, cultural or hygienic reasons. Most food taboos include the meat of a particular animal, including mammals, rodents, reptiles, amphibians, 60 61Social Anxiety Disorder社交恐惧症What is Social Anxiety DisorderSocial Anxiety Disorder社交恐惧症什么是社交恐惧症6263Social Anxiety Disorder社交恐惧症Social Anxiety Disorder社交恐惧症What is Social Anxiety Disorder什么是社交恐惧症中文导读一般人对参加聚会或其他会暴露 在公共场合的事情都会感到轻微 紧张，但这并不会影响到他们出 席。真正的社交恐惧症会导致无 法承受的恐惧，有的人甚至会长 时间的把自己关在家里孤立自 己。 社交恐惧症患者总是处于 焦虑状态，他们害怕自己在别人 面前出洋相，害怕被别人观察。 与人交往，甚至在公共场所出 现，对他们来说都是一件极其恐 惧的任务。The Symptoms of Social Anxiety Disorder社交恐惧症的表现A US report stated that Social Anxiety is the third most common psychiatric disorder a er alcoholism and depression. Around seven percent of the population at any given time will su er from Social Anxiety.Social anxiety disorder is an anxiety disorder characterized by intense fear in social situations causing considerable distress and impaired ability to function in at least some parts of daily life. It is a rather extreme form of social phobia (SP), although the latter is sometimes treated synonymously. e diagnosis of social anxiety disorder can be of a speci c disorder (when only some particular situations are feared) or a generalized disorder. Generalized socialanxiety disorder typically involves a persistent, intense, chronic fear of being judged by others and of being embarrassed or humiliated by one's own actions. ese fears can be triggered by perceived or actual scrutiny from others. While the fear of social interaction may be recognized by the person as excessive or unreasonable, overcoming it can be quite di cult.6465Social Anxiety Disorder社交恐惧症Social Anxiety Disorder社交恐惧症The Symptoms of Social Anxiety Disorder社交恐惧症的表现中文导读Social anxiety can be totally debilitating as worry and fear dominate a su erers life. Being bullied around by another person is bad enough, but when the thoughts inside your own head restrict what you do and make you feel anxious it's time to take action. Social Anxiety can have small beginnings. Like a bush re destroying enjoyment of life in its terrifying path, social anxiety can spread quickly. Social anxiety is not shyness. Shyness over an event or meeting makes us feel awkward and clumsy, but those feelings pass and don't stop you from doing anything. Social anxiety stops you in your tracks andThe symptoms of social anxiety are wide ranging and can severely restrict a person life style:以下是社交恐惧症的典型 症状： Unable to use the telephone无法正常使用电话forces you to avoid things to prevent the discomfort that the anxiety brings. Social anxiety can make you feel isolated and lonely as you withdraw more and more to avoid the crippling nervousness associated with mixing with others. Even though you know the thoughts are irrational, it is hard to stop them. Negative thoughts demand your every attention and leave you unable to enjoy what is happening. Negative evaluation of events and people are the cornerstone of social anxiety and constantly make their presence felt. A chat with a friend or stranger can bring hours of ruminations about what was or could have been said.Fearful of every meeting with a new person害怕接见陌生人不断分析过去与未来的事，他说 了什么，她又说了什么，我真不 应该这么说，等等具有社交恐惧症的人有不同的外 在表现，他们面对大众时会涨红 脸，无法直视对方，视线模糊， 声音发颤，心跳加速，流汗，口 吃，表情狰狞，手脚冰凉等。这 些症状也会演变成很严重的心理 疾病。accompanied with rapid speech. Panic attacks may also occur under intense fear and discomfort. An early diagnosis may help minimize the symptoms and the development of additional problems, such as depression. Some su erers may use alcohol or other drugs to reduce fears and inhibitions at social events. It is common for su erers of social phobia to self-medicate in this fashion, especially if they are undiagnosed, untreated, this can lead to alcoholism, eating disorders or other kinds of substance abuse.Worry that you are being watched and negatively judged by strangers and friends alike担心自己被别人观察或者被别人 做负面评价Fear that will do something embarrassing害怕做出尴尬的事Anxiety when eating in front of others在别人面前吃东西感到焦虑Mind goes blank脑袋忽然一片空白Any public performance暴露在公众面前Symptoms of social anxiety can be observed in children under ten and ninety eight percent of people who get it have it by the time they are twenty. Physical symptoms o en accompanying social anxiety disorder include excessive blushing, sweating (hyperhidrosis), trembling, palpitations, nausea, and stammering o en 66ink that people are staring at you认为别人在盯着你看Want to escape from a situation想要逃避Extensive analysis of past and future situation. What he said ... she said ... I should not have said 67Social Anxiety Disorder社交恐惧症Social Anxiety Disorder社交恐惧症Social Anxiety Disorder Treatment OptionsSocial Anxiety Disorder Treatment Options社交恐惧症解决方案中文导读其实社交恐惧症并不可怕，药 物加上心理治疗和行为指导是 非常有效的。药物能缓解生理 症状，心理治疗和行为指导可 以帮助人们重塑信心，接纳外 界，减轻压力。社交恐惧症解决方案Behavioral help:Psychotherapy is o en used as a social anxiety disorder treatment as well. erapy can and will help the people. You will be on what really rational and help you through these actually look for work. Social anxiety disorder treatment is based on the fact that you seek professional help based need. You should talk to your doctor about your concerns and they can easily help you by working. Ask your doctor for a recommendation to a suitable therapist and check out their success rate with other people they have seen with social anxiety. Cognitive Behavioral erapy, Brief therapy and hypnotic suggestion has proven helpful for many people with social anxiety. Good therapy helps to change the extreme focus on the negative thinking patterns and allow the mind set that creates reaction to shi to a more comfortable way of thinking about the world. 69When it comes to social anxiety disorder treatment options, there are some very important elements that can be used. is condition is considered a long-lasting, even a lifetime event in a person’s life to be. erefore, social anxiety disorder treatment really should be sought.reuptake inhibitors are known), and are sometimes very e ective in the treatment of social anxiety disorder. One very common medication for the treatment of social anxiety disorder requires that the Paxil.Drugs:ere are drugs on the market that can help in the treatment of social phobia. ese drugs are in a class of antidepressan